Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Drop Dead Gorgeous!

On the bus this woman came on who looked drop dead gorgeous. I smiled at her and she returned my smile. She sat near me but we didn't speak. When we got off the bus I said to her, "You are very pretty."

"Awww, thank you," she smiled.

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

If I were a bloke or a lesbian I would definitely fancy her; she's just my type.

What about her that made her gorgeous? She was about 5 ft 10 inches and very slim; she looked like a model. She actually reminded me of Iman who used to be a supermodel. There was also something about her aura which made her approachable; and she is friendly.

Nowadays there are adverts encouraging us to challenge notions of beauty. One skin product company uses "real" women in their ad campaigns i.e. women who do not fit the conventional model shape mould. While I agree that women come in all shapes and sizes, I'm sure most women have their ideal figure.

It took me a while to realise what my ideal was. I've always been skinny. When I was growing up in Sierra Leone, plump girls and women were the epitome of beauty while skinny girls didn't have a look in. I wanted so much to put on weight but it didn't happen. When I came to England, skinny was seen as the ideal. At that time I was around 7 and a half stone (105 pounds and around 5 ft 6 in tall). Because I still had the "wanting to put on weight" mentality, I did all I could to achieve my goal. I once asked my doctor to put me on Steroids to help me put on weight. He told me to go home and eat my greens and be grateful I was thin.

During my twenties, I gained about a stone (14 pounds). When I hit my mid-thirties I went up to 9 stone (126 pounds) which was quite heavy for me. I didn't feel comfortable being that weight. That was when it dawned on me that it wasn't my ideal weight. I also believed my weight gain represented the belief I was carrying that as a Woman of African heritage, I should expect to gain weight. When I went to Australia to visit my boyfriend in 2000, I lost half a stone. When I returned home in the same year and stared focusing on the spiritual path and challenging many of the beliefs I had, I lost another 7 pounds. Since then I've stayed the same weight at 8 stone (112 pounds) which feels natural for my frame.

While I think marketing people mean well challenging what beauty means, the danger is trying to impose their ideals on women. I believe beauty is subjective.

If I found women sexually attractive, I would be attracted to slim women who are friendly. That's just me.


Related articles: Beauty From the Inside Out; Keeping It Real; Live Long and Prosper!; Loving Myself